Please review these essays

[gujralvikas]

Below are my essays from my first practice test. Please review them and tell me how can I improve. Also, mention any interesting points from the topics I should have discussed in the essay. Thanks!


AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument

ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a print advertisement for a dietary supplement:

"According to a recent study, professional bodybuilders who used Train & Gain, a new protein supplement, over the course of three months experienced an increase in measured strength of up to 20%. Since Train & Gain is now available without prescription at all major pharmacies, superior results are no longer limited to professional athletes. Try Train & Gain today and you too can boost your strength and achieve professional-level performance in just a few months."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

RESPONSE:
The author talks about a new training supplement, Train & Gain, which has helped professional bodybuilders gain strength of up to 20% in 3 months. The author goes on to claim that since this product is available at all major pharmacies, it can help anyone boost his or her strength and professional performance in just a few months. Although the claim seems reasonable at first, there are many hidden questionable assumptions which lack convincing evidence.

First, the study only shows that Train & Gain works for professional bodybuilders. It would not be correct to consider this valid for everyone. Professional bodybuilders might undergo strenuous training and body building exercises, which might be necessary for Train & Gain to work. Also, the argument overlooks the role of a coach or trainer. A coach or trainer might have a very important role to play in building strength of professional body builders. The argument will be strengthened if there was evidence showing that Train & Gain has worked with common people without much professional guidance.

Second, the argument tells us that Train & Gain showed results in just 3 months for professional bodybuilders. It would be erroneous to expect similar results from the general people. It would help the argument if there was results showing the worst performance of Train & Gain.

Third, the argument claims that using Train & Gain would help one achieve professional level performance in just a few months. There is no evidence supporting this claim. It would be unreasonable to think that strength is the thing essential for professionals. There might be other attributes which are equally as important such as technique, physique, height etc. Some evidence supporting the claim that strength is the most important for professional bodybuilder will help strengthen the argument.

Hence, to conclude, the author overlooks certain key flaws in the assumptions while making a bold claim. It would be essential to provide required evidence to establish this claim.






AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Issues


ESSAY QUESTION:
"As technological development continues to intensify business competition, the quality of customer service is likely to become the only sustainable source of competitive advantage."

Explain what you think this quotation means and discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with it. Develop your position with reasons and/or specific examples drawn from history, current events, or your own experience, observations, or reading.

RESPONSE:
Whether customer service will be the only key source of competitive advantage is a very interesting and challenging topic. Although retaining loyal customers might be a key advantage in business challenge, I believe it is not the only sustainable source of competition. Certain other areas such as Innovation and Strategy are equally important.

Innovation is what drives technological development. A unique and different product can lead to market dominance. Take the example of Apple. By regularly launching new and innovative products, they have a clear advantage in the electronics industry. The Iphones and Ipads have had record breaking sales. Even though they might not have after sales customer service as compared to Samsung or Nokia, they still continue to sell millions of phones and computers.

Strategy is also a very important aspect of business advantage. The whole management consulting domain runs on this philosophy. How a company puts forward or markets its product, how easily can one get the product, how do people perceive the company or the product are some of the key questions that come under the ambit of strategy. For example, Aircel, a cellular network provide in India, might not have the national presence or customer support as its other competitors (such as Airtel, Vodafone), but its innovative marketing strategies and easy availability has led to a impressive customer base.

Some might argue that loyal customers will prove to be the key in business competition. But even the most loyal customers can be made to switch to other products by out of the box innovative products and customer friendly strategies. Taking a similar example of Indian cellular services, Hutchisson Essar had a market dominance in many cities across India, before companies like Airtel and Idea Cellular launched innovative marketing campaigns and packages which made users to switch to them.

To conclude, although customer service remains a key necessity for customer satisfaction and future business dominance, innovative products and strategies are equally necessary to retain customer. Even though a company focusing entirely on customer service might retain some customers for a short period of time, but in the longer run innovation and strategy also plays a key role.

[StaceyKoprince]

Hi, thanks for posting your essays! You've probably figured this out by now, but just an FYI that instructors don't grade or give feedback on essays (see the forum guidelines for details).

But I certainly hope other community members respond. Also, if you're in our class, you'll have an opportunity to get essays graded and get written feedback during the course (after class 6). Finally, you can get essays graded by GMAT Write (the official essay grading service from the makers of the exam) - they'll both grade the essays and provide feedback as to how to improve (for a fee). For details and pricing, go to www.mba.com and search for GMAT Write.

[wayne.colquitt]

Explain your position on the issue of structure versus freedom in an perfect learning environment. Maintain your answers with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.