Please review my Essay : Analysis of Issue

[chakraborty.subhabrata]

Hello,
This is my first Essay practice. Kindly review my essay below:

Analysis of Issue
The desire of corporations to maximize profits creates conflict with the general welfare of the nation at large.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.


My Response


Although the issue of what constitutes success is not black & White and some experts object that Corporation's desire to maximize profit creates may not conflict with the general welfare of the nation. I agree with the above statement because corporations trying to create profit incorporate malpractices in organization & effecting overall nation welfare.

The first reason of my view is incorporating corruption within organization & in turn which will affect the overall nation. For example, A company is trying to bribe to board to achieve a tender to gain new work-stack. It will definitely maximize organization profit but it will also building the malpractice of bribe in nation. Moreover, it is affecting the best bidder by not getting the tender who may try the same way next time to get another tender. Overall, the malpractice is spreading the nation.

Second reason of my view is by trying to maximize profit, organization put unnecessary pressure in employees which creates overall dissatisfaction & in turn lower down nation happiness index. For example, an organization can try to pressurize employees to work for more time for completion of a project in shorter time. This will obviously generate more revenue for the organization, but in overall the employees will get unhappy & in turn the nation's index will get lower.

On the other hand, some may argue that with maximizing profit organizations put more contributions in general welfare by providing more donations nation- wide. Yet this effect is very less considered with the cons of maximize profit. Moreover, organizations trying to maximize profits are less likely to donate significant amount in nations welfare.

In conclusion, I concur that desire of corporations to maximize profits creates conflict with the general welfare of the nation at large. Though some may argue that with maximizing profit organizations put more contributions in general welfare by providing more donations nation-wide, this effect is negligible compared to the conflicts between those two interests.


Analysis of Argument
The following was used as part of an internet advertising company's appeal to businesses: Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year's totals. Furniture Depot's success demonstrates how using our internet services can increase your profitability.

Describe how well reasoned you find this argument. In the discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument.


My Response

Increasing Profit is a major concern of the organizations in business. Organizations try to increase profitability by advertising campaigns. Different Internet advertising campaigns provide services to affect the revenue positively. In the preceding statement, the author claims that the internet advertising company's services can help to increase profitability. Though his claim may well have merit, the author presents a poorly reasoned argument, based on several questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence the author offers, we cannot accept his argument as valid.

The primary issue with the author's reasoning lies in his biased premises link. Author claims that the internet advertising company's services can help to increase profitability because Furniture depot has increased its profitability to 10% since its started to use the advertise company's services. This is biased reasoning. The profitability may increase without the services of the internet advertisement company. The author's premises, the basis for his argument, lack any legitimate evidentiary support and render his conclusion unacceptable.

In addition, the author makes several assumptions that remain unproven. The author assumes there is no other factor is there affecting the profitability increase. An improved management, better operation proficiency, less competitor & market price increase can have positive effect in profitability. It may also possible the profitability increase will be greater if they use another advertising company. The author weakens his argument by making assumptions and failing to provide explication of the links between increase of revenue and internet advertise company's services.

While the author does have several key issues in his argument's premises and assumptions, that is not to say that the entire argument is without base. In case there is evidence that some new customers got interested in this furniture depot after watching the advertisements or some poll can prove that new customers have chosen the furniture depot due to this internet advertisement company, the reasoning will be much more stronger. Though there are several issues with the author's reasoning at present, with research and clarification, he could improve his argument significantly.

In conclusion, the author's illogical argument is based on unsupported premises and unsubstantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid. If the author truly hopes to change his readers' minds on the issue, he would have to largely restructure his argument, fix the flaws in his logic, clearly explicate his assumptions, and provide evidentiary support. Without these things, his poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people.

[StaceyKoprince]

Hi, thanks for posting your essays! Just an FYI that instructors don't grade or give feedback on essays (see the forum guidelines for details).

But I certainly hope other community members respond. Also, if you're in our class, you'll have an opportunity to get essays graded and get written feedback during the course (after class 6). Finally, you can get essays graded by GMAT Write (the official essay grading service from the makers of the exam) - they'll both grade the essays and provide feedback as to how to improve (for a fee). For details and pricing, go to www.mba.com and search for GMAT Write.