The AWA Topic is
The following appeared as part of a campaign to sell advertising time on a local radio station to local businesses:
“The Cumquat Café began advertising on our local radio station this year and was delighted to see its business
increase by 10 percent over last year’s totals. Their success shows you how you can use radio advertising to make
your business more profitable.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
My Essay...
The argument states that, since the Cumquat Café advertised on Radio Station, it witnessed a business growth of 10% over last year's total. Stated in this way, the author fails to convince it's audience, as it fails to mention key points in support of the 'advertisement benefits from radio stations' for different business prospects. Therefore, the argument is weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the author presents it as a FACT, that because of the radio station advertisement, Comquat Cafe managed to rake in 10% business growth. But, there is no proof or even a 'Survey', which could have been conducted among cafe's customers to prove their claim. Hence, the conclusion becomes weak without any proper proof.
Second, the radio station is considering 10% business growth over the last year as a very big victory on their part, but it fails to mention the total investment by the cafe on the advertisement, and whether or not, the cafe managed to have any profits after that. After these comparison only we can assess this venture of Comquat Cafe as 'Success OR Failure' .
Third, the radio station is inviting other business ventures to come and advertise through their medium, and claiming that it will lead to Business growth by referring Cafe's success example. But, do they guarantee other business companies having different products, that they will be equally successful as the cafe in their own respective field. The Advertising strategy for different business ventures and their products hasn't been mentioned by the author, which further weak it's claim.
In summary, the argument being hypothetical in nature is flawed and very much unconvincing. It could have been strengthened if author provided some proper statistical data about advertisement strategies and their respective effects on different business prospects. So, without the proper evidences and considerate knowledge about argument, it will be considered weak and inconclusive.
Please help me assess my essay by providing feedback for improvements..//
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Re: Please hep me improve my AWA Essays...//
I write the following in less than 30 minutes. I write to analyse 2 assumption deeply because I think deep analyse get more score. I focus on ideas more than on language because ideas are more important than language.
The author concludes that the profit of the Cumquat is caused by the radio advertisement. I think that this argument is not sound because it assumes many importants points necessary for the argument.
First the author assumes that the increase in business is increase in profit. This case is not always correct. It is possible that the increase in business dose not create the increase in profit. In the company in which I worked before, we have sell more good and get a increase in business but our profit is lower. This case happens because the expenditure in our company increases more than our sales do. The argument would be more convincing if it shows the evidence that the increase in business in this case is also an increase in profit.
Second, the author assumes that the radio advertisement is responsible for the increase in the business. The problem is that the two events happen at the same time can not always be in causal relation. There is possibility that a third factor can cause the result. Example for this case is popular. In my country, many times stock prices increase when the weather is colder. You can not say that weather change affects the stock prices. The argument would be more convincing if it show the statistics confirming that the causal relation between radio advertisment and increase in business exists.
In conclusion, I see the argument is not valid because it assumes many import logic reasons. If the argument details the evidence and statistice above, it would be more sound.
I do not analyse the 3 assumption that your business can imitate this cafe business. because I think I have no enough to write the third paragraph. I hope I can get 5 for this above essay. do you think so?
The author concludes that the profit of the Cumquat is caused by the radio advertisement. I think that this argument is not sound because it assumes many importants points necessary for the argument.
First the author assumes that the increase in business is increase in profit. This case is not always correct. It is possible that the increase in business dose not create the increase in profit. In the company in which I worked before, we have sell more good and get a increase in business but our profit is lower. This case happens because the expenditure in our company increases more than our sales do. The argument would be more convincing if it shows the evidence that the increase in business in this case is also an increase in profit.
Second, the author assumes that the radio advertisement is responsible for the increase in the business. The problem is that the two events happen at the same time can not always be in causal relation. There is possibility that a third factor can cause the result. Example for this case is popular. In my country, many times stock prices increase when the weather is colder. You can not say that weather change affects the stock prices. The argument would be more convincing if it show the statistics confirming that the causal relation between radio advertisment and increase in business exists.
In conclusion, I see the argument is not valid because it assumes many import logic reasons. If the argument details the evidence and statistice above, it would be more sound.
I do not analyse the 3 assumption that your business can imitate this cafe business. because I think I have no enough to write the third paragraph. I hope I can get 5 for this above essay. do you think so?
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