Parallelism problem set #7 & #13

[pritesh.shah]

1) Question #7 on page 59 (Chapter 4) of SC Strategy guide

We were dismayed to learn that our neighbours were untidy, disagreeable , and they were uninterested to make new friends.

The corrected sentence,as per the guide,is given as

We were dismayed to learn that our neighbours were untidy, disagreeable , and uninterested in making new friends.

What if I correct the sentence as following -

We were dismayed to learn that our neighbours were untidy, disagreeable, and that they were uninterested to make new friends.

Is my sentence still correct?.

It is incorrect.
The use of that after and disturbs parallelism

We were dismayed to learn that our neighbours were untidy, disagreeable, and that they were uninterested to make new friends.

2)Question #13

Voters want to elect a president who genuinely cares about health care, the environment, the traveils of ordinery men and women, has the experience,wisdom and strength of character required for the job.

Corrected sentence is -
Voters want to elect a president who genuinely cares about health care, the environment, and the traveils of ordinary men and women, and who has has the experience,wisdom,and strength of character required for the job.


what if i correct the sentence as

Voters want to elect a president who genuinely cares about health care, the environment, and the traveils of ordinery men and women, and has the experience,wisdom and, strength of character required for the job.

Is this correct as well?..
In other words,Is the "who" after comma mandatory?.

"Who" is required to maintain parallelism.


Elucidating ...
Lets break the sentence ...

Voters want to elect a president

who genuinely cares about health care, the environment,and the travails of ordinary men and women, and
who has the experience,wisdom,and strength of character required for the job

Each of the part can use the common subject while maintaining parallelism.

If "who" were to be removed from the latter half, it would not be able to share the subject.

Voters want to elect a president (who) has the experience,wisdom,and strength of character required for ....
Hence "who" is required.

Hope this is of some help.

[giteshr]

This is how I could break it. Is it the correct way to approach such questions?

Thanks,
Gitesh

[dmitryknowsbest]

I think the comments have been spot on. Ratheesh, you are right that an additional "and" in #7 would put a break in the parallel structure that would not just allow, but actually necessitate an additional "that." However, the comma in the original creates a list that must be continued with another adjective.

In #13, the second "who" reduces ambiguity. Without it, it takes some work to divine the author’s meaning. Is this next part an addition to the list, or a trait of the desired president, or perhaps another verb attached to voters? Sure, "voters . .. has" is incorrect, but do you see how much work we have to do at this point to follow the meaning? In a simpler sentence: "I want a president who cares about education and has nice hair," there is less room for confusion, and we might safely choose to omit the additional "who."

[pleaman]

I think the comments have been spot on. Ratheesh, you are right that an additional "and" in #7 would put a break in the parallel structure that would not just allow, but actually necessitate an additional "that." However, the comma in the original creates a list that must be continued with another adjective.

In #13, the second "who" reduces ambiguity. Without it, it takes some work to divine the author’s meaning. Is this next part an addition to the list, or a trait of the desired president, or perhaps another verb attached to voters? Sure, "voters . .. has" is incorrect, but do you see how much work we have to do at this point to follow the meaning? In a simpler sentence: "I want a president who cares about education and has nice hair," there is less room for confusion, and we might safely choose to omit the additional "who."

Is it correct to say that @Uninterested in making@ equal @uninterested to make@? Or one of the clause is preferred?

[tim]

you should go with "uninterested in making"..

[pleaman]

you should go with "uninterested in making"..

why? nevertheless, could I use another phrase?

[tim]

i'm sure there are dozens of ways you could express this thought. as for why one of the options you present is preferable to the other, there's no real reason; that's just the way it is. we call these idioms, and unfortunately you just have to memorize the correct way to express them..

[EloyJ759]

Hi guys,

What if I write the following answer for exerise number 7?

"We were dismayed to learn that our neighbors were uninterested to make new friends and were untidy and disagreeable"...won't the verb "were" keep the parallelism?

[ShravanthiM676]

why is there a comma before the 2nd WHO in problem 13..

Voters want to elect a president WHO _______ , and WHO ___________

why is it not

Voters want to elect a president WHO _______ and WHO ___________

[cgentry]

I don't think there should be a comma before that second "who", but the GMAT is sometimes inconsistent with its comma usage, so we have to accept that sometimes we'll see commas where they shouldn't exist.

Most often, this happens when the comma is not in the underlined portion, and it's used to try to fool the test taker.

Although I often use comma usage as a clue to where a potential grammar issue lies, I generally do not make my decision solely on comma usage.