mbaMission Release 2010-2011 HBS Essay Analysis!

[mbamission]

We have just released our Harvard Business School essay analysis. We hope that it will help you prepare standout essays for HBS.

Sincerely,

Erin Schuhmacher
mbaMission

As is the case each year, HBS has not overhauled its essays, but has tweaked them slightly. We would guess that this is likely about variety and change, rather than some shift in attributes sought by the admissions committee. The first two essay questions remain the same, but thereafter the optional essays have changed "” notably, you now have to answer two of four questions, rather than two of five. "Discuss how you have engaged with a community or organization," is a thing of the past. Meanwhile, the "career vision" and "undergraduate academic experience" essays remain among the options and the final two, "Tell us about a time when you made a difficult decision," and "Write a cover letter to your application introducing yourself to the Admissions Board," have been altered, as you will see below. Overall, even with fewer options this year, HBS offers you a great deal of flexibility in its essays, enabling you to selectively showcase the best of your candidacy. Don’t just start writing "” brainstorm and thoroughly consider the message that you are communicating about yourself.

Mandatory: What are your three most substantial accomplishments and why do you view them as such? (600-word limit)

This mainstay of the Harvard MBA application challenges the applicant to quickly "wow" the reader with three individual accomplishments that, together, reveal a true depth of experience. Generally, the candidate should showcase different dimensions of him-/herself within the three subsections of this essay. Candidates can select from their professional, community, personal, academic (must be truly outstanding), athletic, interpersonal, experiential and entrepreneurial accomplishments, but certainly, no formula for the right mix of stories exists.

While this is HBS’s longest single essay in terms of word limit, many candidates treat it as three mini essays. Remember, though, that constructing individual stories within 200-word subsets is quite challenging. Candidates must keep in mind that the experiences they describe are crucial, but these descriptions only address half of HBS’s question. Indeed, two elements need to be addressed in this essay"”(1) your accomplishments and (2) an analytical reflection on them ("why do you view them as such?"). The second half of this question should not be ignored; your personal thoughts and reflections are yours alone and will differentiate you from the pack.

Candidates often wonder if all three stories need to link thematically to conform to the expectations of a single essay. We have seen many a candidate skip a formal introduction and simply launch into a story, grabbing and holding the reader’s attention by placing him/her in the middle of the action. There is nothing wrong with a single essay that flows from one accomplishment to the next, but candidates should not fret if they have three distinct stories.

Note: Avoid beginning each accomplishment with "My first significant accomplishment is..." "My second most significant accomplishment is..." Because many candidates start their essays this way, you risk losing the reader almost immediately. Further, by telling the reader what the accomplishment is in the first sentence, you kill the mystery, and the reader is left with nothing to discover"”nothing is driving him/her to follow your story.

What have you learned from a mistake? (400-word limit)

What makes this question interesting is that the admissions committee is not asking you to simply recount a failure or setback, which might allow you to shift the blame onto others or external circumstances. Instead, they are asking about a mistake that you have made or were in some way involved in making"”which means that you cannot avoid taking personal responsibility for the error. We cannot emphasize this enough: the admissions committee wants to know that you can honestly and critically assess yourself. You do not need to be brutal, but your essay must leave you exposed in some way. Attempts to hide or minimize your mistake, or your role in it, will be transparent and will lessen the import of what you learned from it"”as well as the strength of your essay. That said, however, be sure to note that this essay is not so much about the mistake itself as it is about what you learned from the mistake. So, you will need to explain the error, take responsibility in a mature manner and then be introspective, showing that learning occurred and led to real change in your subsequent thoughts and actions.

Optional: Please respond to two of the following (400-word limit each):

What would you like the MBA Admissions Board to know about your undergraduate academic experience?

This question is quite open-ended, so you are not constrained to a historical recounting of your entire academic career; you can be selective and showcase the aspects that present you in the most positive light. This can be an opportunity to explain your choices (of school/major) and highlight your intellectual vitality"”but not to review your coursework (the admissions committee already has your transcript) or justify bad grades.

While "academic" is the operative word in this essay question, it can be interpreted broadly. Your academic experience can extend beyond the classroom and into, for example, vigorous discussions with professors during office hours. The idea is to show that while you were an undergraduate, you seized various opportunities to explore ideas and develop your interests, thoughts and world view. You should try to create momentum in your essay, illustrating how you worked to discover your passions and then committed yourself to an appropriate course of study. However, this does not mean that you can only discuss your major; that quirky "Surrealist Cinema" or fascinating "Modern Architecture" class that was well outside your core course of study might be the perfect fodder to prove your intellectual curiosity and growth.

We should mention that we have seen successful candidates hone in on one spectacular academic experience that defined their academic career as a whole. Again, this essay need not be a historical recounting of an entire four-year degree. You have the freedom to offer what is important to you and showcase what will allow you to stand apart from others.

Note: We generally do not recommend this essay question to candidates who are several years removed from their undergraduate experience, but exceptions are made for those who had truly extraordinary academic careers.

What is your career vision and why is this choice meaningful to you?

Many candidates feel anxious about not answering this question, because, for the most part, every top school asks candidates to directly discuss their goals. Well, for the record, mbaMission has worked with candidates in each of the past three years (i.e., since this essay became an option) who have succeeded in gaining admission to HBS without answering this question. It is, indeed, optional. Essentially, we feel that if you are truly passionate about a certain career path and this path has some distinctiveness to it, then you should answer this question. However, if you are still contemplating your career or can reveal something unique about yourself by answering one of the other essay questions instead, then you need not respond to this one.

If you choose to address this question, it offers you flexibility in discussing your career path, because the admissions committee wants to hear about vision, not narrow goals. Still, even though no blatant request is made for a description of your short- and long-term goals, you cannot afford to be whimsical. To ensure your credibility, you must demonstrate that you are focused in your ambitions and show that your desired career path is built on a legitimate intellectual and professional foundation.

HBS strives to restrict the illustrious HBS experience to those with clear vision, potential and purpose. The latter portion of this essay question ("why is this choice meaningful to you?") places the onus on you to explore and explain your motivations. The question’s structure prevents superficial answers and forces you to show a fundamental understanding of, and personal connection to, your goals.

Note: We strongly advise candidates not to try to anticipate the "types" of careers that HBS admissions "prefer" and then try to game the system. Whether you write about a potential career in nonprofit or one in private equity, your chances are no better or worse. Vision"”we repeat"”vision is key.

Tell us about a time in your professional experience when you were frustrated or disappointed.

At first glance, this question may seem to be an odd addition to HBS’s optional statements. After all, the mistake essay already asks you to present yourself in somewhat of a negative light"”now they are asking you to discuss a frustrating or disappointing experience as well?

If anything, this essay reveals that HBS is seeking people who are "real" and know that they are fallible. It may sound like a cliché, but often, far more can be learned by navigating a path strewn with obstacles than on the clear and easy road to success. For this essay, HBS is not asking you to recount an experience in which you were culpable in some way (as it does in the mistake essay), but rather one in which you were challenged and had to struggle. For example, if you took on a corporate bureaucracy to bring about a positive change, and did so with conviction and determination, whether you lost or won is not relevant"”what is crucial is how you navigated your path and dealt with the obstacles in your way. Relaying a professionally frustrating experience does not need to reveal that you are tempestuous, but can instead reveal positive traits, such as diplomacy, thoughtfulness, determination, entrepreneurship and more. We encourage you to carefully consider this question and not dismiss it outright as another challenge to your character. In fact, you may find that your character truly shines through in this essay.

When you join the HBS Class of 2013, how will you introduce yourself to your new classmates?

Many candidates will consider writing this essay in first person, likely in quotes. If you consider taking this approach, we caution you against using the typical opening: "Hi. My name is Tom Brown and I am excited about joining the HBS Class of 2013. I was born in..." This is not a time to blend in with the crowd, so you will need to use a more compelling approach. HBS is not asking for a biographical statement but is essentially giving you a free opportunity to showcase your strongest attributes and experiences as a potential contributor to the broader HBS experience. In this case, you do not need restrict your focus to the academic sphere. Instead, consider offering a narrative that reveals your strengths in various areas"”academic, community, extracurricular, social"”which would thereby demonstrate your ability to contribute to many different facets of the HBS community, not just in the classroom. Although we strongly discourage you from writing a disguised "why HBS" essay, tactfully linking some of your proposed contributions to specific offerings at the school may be appropriate.

More than outlining your contribution, however, your overarching goal in this essay should be to find your voice and convey your true personality/style so the admissions committee can gain a better understanding of you as an individual. Again, the committee is not looking for a specific "type" of candidate, and you should not try to be anything other than yourself. (If you are a shy person, for example, there is no point in trying to depict yourself as the life of the party.) Your sincere story and personality need to materialize for you to stand out among the thousands who apply to this school.

If you would like to learn more about Harvard Business School, we offer the mbaMission Insider’s Guide to Harvard Business School - an in depth look into the school’s academic specializations and defining characteristics (size, study method, curricular structure) and more, with opinions from students and alumni.

[gkumar]

Thank you for this detailed analysis! Appreciate it.