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johngeekster
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Manhattan GMAT Sentence Correction, 3rd Edition, Page 91

by johngeekster Wed Aug 17, 2011 8:50 am

I am doubtful over the use of parallelism indicating words in the sentences. For example, where to repeat words like WILL and where to not.
Like in the example:-

The joint business venture will increase employee satisfaction and start improving the relations between upper management and staff.

The corrected sentence is:-

The joint business venture will increase employee satisfaction and improve relations between upper management and staff.
Last edited by johngeekster on Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
methevoid
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Re: Manhattan GMAT Sentence Correction, 4th Edition, Page 91

by methevoid Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:56 am

Hi John,

My strategy is such questions is to try to make the sentence structure coherent by joining the NON-PARALLEL part with the each individual PARALLEL part, this ensures my Parallelism is consistent with the structure.

E.g - The joint business venture will increase employee satisfaction and start improving the relations between upper management and staff.
- In here Parallel connector - and joins increase employee satisfaction and start improving the relations

in such scenarios I will try to make sense of this sentence by saying in my mind - the NON-PARALLEL part The joint business venture will with both the PARALLELED parts - such as -

The joint business venture will increase employee satisfaction - fair enough, it makes sense.

The other one -
The joint business venture will start improving the relations

One can clearly observe the word after "will' - "increase" and "start improving" are in no way going parallel, so the correct response tells you to drop "start" and use "Improve" as such.

Will Increase and Will improve both are fairly connected by and and imply coherent parallelism.
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Re: Manhattan GMAT Sentence Correction, 4th Edition, Page 91

by pranabiitkgp Thu Aug 18, 2011 8:03 am

In absence of other available better alternative this may be right but dropping 'start' in the sentence is changing the meaning .
'Will start improving the relations' has different meaning than 'will improve the relations'
johngeekster
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Re: Manhattan GMAT Sentence Correction, 4th Edition, Page 91

by johngeekster Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:42 am

methevoid Wrote:Hi John,

My strategy is such questions is to try to make the sentence structure coherent by joining the NON-PARALLEL part with the each individual PARALLEL part, this ensures my Parallelism is consistent with the structure.

E.g - The joint business venture will increase employee satisfaction and start improving the relations between upper management and staff.
- In here Parallel connector - and joins increase employee satisfaction and start improving the relations

in such scenarios I will try to make sense of this sentence by saying in my mind - the NON-PARALLEL part The joint business venture will with both the PARALLELED parts - such as -

The joint business venture will increase employee satisfaction - fair enough, it makes sense.

The other one -
The joint business venture will start improving the relations

One can clearly observe the word after "will' - "increase" and "start improving" are in no way going parallel, so the correct response tells you to drop "start" and use "Improve" as such.

Will Increase and Will improve both are fairly connected by and and imply coherent parallelism.


Hi methevoid,

Thank you for replying.

I agree with your strategy and your explanation. The source of confusion is that why can't the corrected sentence be:-

The joint business venture will increase employee satisfaction and will improve the relations between upper management and staff.

You have taken the NON PARALLEL part as "The joint business venture will", where the auxillery verb(WILL) inside it. Why can,t we make it part of the two PARALLEL clauses. So the two clauses will be:- will increase employee satisfaction
will improve the relations between upper management and staff

The structure is parallel and logical.

What are your thoughts on this?

BEst Regards,
JOHN
jnelson0612
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Re: Manhattan GMAT Sentence Correction, 3rd Edition, Page 91

by jnelson0612 Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:39 pm

Hi John,
Repeating the "will" is not incorrect . . . but you don't need it; thus, dropping it gives us a less wordy answer.

I can simply say "I will hop and skip all the way to school" vs. "I will hop and will skip all the way to school".
Jamie Nelson
ManhattanGMAT Instructor