AWA Evaluation -

[slaughterGMAT]

Hello Members/Instructors,
Recently I took one MGMAT test and the below topic was given for AWA:
"The following appeared in the personal finance section of a popular magazine:

“The average price of an acre of land in the United States is now 50 times what it was in 1970, and nearly 200 times what it was in 1920. The nation’s population is projected to keep increasing, even as the amount of land remains constant. Therefore, people who are approaching retirement should invest heavily in real estate in order to ensure their financial security.”

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
"


To this- I responded like below:

"The retirement investment has become a widely contested topic of late. And with latest and untested and/or unreliable new investment options coming up such as investment in tech start ups or investment in new pension funds etc. the financial security for retirement has become imperative for people to understand what all retirement options work better for them. The author presents one avenue for retirement investment which is investment in real estate by giving facts like ‘the average price of a unit of land has appreciated by as much as 50 times from 1970 and over 200 times from what it was in 1920’.
Even though the facts remain true and uncontested but the inference is ill advised. The problem with the first premise of the author is that the rates of land are measured on the base value of year 1920 and 1970 both of which are the years of great depression in economy and hence will always throw up very subdued price of land in those years; which in turn will skew up the calculation and matrix for the land price appreciation. The second premise is based on the fact that the population is ever increasing but not the land available for investment. Although this is logical but still it fails to answer the fact that we still have lots of ‘available’ land per capita even now than ever since the forests and mountains are leveled up to create even more ‘fresh’ land for use.
In addition, there are few assumptions that the author has made which compels the inference of author untenable. Primary assumption is that real estate is the only investment that has given the best appreciation so far. Secondary assumption is that real estate ownership is at least as good as any other available options when it comes to liquidity. Many people don’t own the real estate for the simple fact that liquidating the real estate is time consuming and costly affair. Besides we cannot always liquidate a part of real estate for example if the author owns one apartment costing around 1 million USD and there is a requirement of only 100,000 USD, even in that case the author will have to sell the complete unit of apartment to obtain 100,000 USD.
The author could have strengthened his argument by providing few more facts and data on the real estate investment as well as some other competing investment options. That would have given us some more data points to evaluate the real estate as an investment option. Without further facts and comparative analysis the inference and conclusion of author remains questionable.
In sum, the author’s argument may hold valid in some circumstances; but wide adoptability of his/her conclusion would demand some more data as discussed earlier. In the current form, it will be risky for the investors to invest in real estate as part of their retirement planning. We would like to see some more analysis on real estate investment as financial security for retirement approaching population.
"
Around 500 words in total.

Could some experts please evaluate this to let me konw where do I stand tentatively on a scale of 6?

Regards

[thanghnvn]

I have not read your essay but I see it too long . for 30 minutes we can not write that long. I will write it less.