AWA Essay Arugument and Issue

[pinal2]

Hi guys,

I just started studying for AWA. Below is my first AWA essay. I thought I'll post it up here to gain valuable insight from the group.

I highly appreciate your constructive insight/comment/critisism in advance. I look forward to all your valuable review. Thanks in advance!!

AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a trade publication for the insurance industry:

"Each generation of Americans has lived longer that the ones preceding it, as the national life expectancy has approached 80 years old in recent years. The progress of medical technology shows no sign of abating. Therefore, we can confidently predict that most children born in America in the next decade will live past the age of ninety."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

MY RESPONSE:
The writer believes that most children born in America in the next decade will live past the age of ninety. But there are several reasons to doubt if new born children in America in the next decade can indeed live past the age of ninety.

First, though medical technology shows no sign of abating, the cost of medical insurance is increasing to a new level every year that normal American citizens are not able to afford new innovation of medical technology that could prevent their children from severe diseases.

Second, pollution to planet Earth has increased steadily over the years due to industrialization in United States. Therefore, the very air the children will breathe and water the new children will drink have been affected with chemicals harmful to human body which might degrade their health body from living longer.

To conclude, with medical technology being very expensive and planet Earth being polluted with air and water rigorously, the new children might not pass the life expectancy as their predecessor.


AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Issues
ESSAY QUESTION:

"Nuclear weapons are potentially more devastating than any other weapon in human history. We must stop pointing the nuclear gun at our own heads. The best way to lower the threat of nuclear war is for the nuclear capable nations, including the U.S., to lead by example and dismantle their own nuclear arsenals."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your viewpoint using reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

MY RESPONSE:
I support the dismantle of nuclear arsenals to prevent the threat of nuclear war that could take thousands of human lives. One misunderstanding of nations with nuclear weapons could create a nuclear war that the world may not be able to survive due to devastating effect to the natural resources and significant loss of living beings.

The study from National Geographic magazine has shown that aftermath of nuclear weapons are hazardous to planet Earth and it would take more than a century to recoup the normal behavior of natural resources. Moreover, the study has also shown that many new diseases can arise due to use of chemicals from nuclear weapons that may lower the life expectancy of living beings.

I understand that each country should protect itself from being invaded by other countries. However, nuclear weapons does not prevent any countries, rather the use of nuclear weapons only harms everyone living in the planet earth indirectly through devastating pollution of natural resources. As a result, I strongly believe that nuclear nations should step forward to lead by example and dismantle their own nuclear arsenals and force other nations to follow the same footsteps from creating nuclear arsenals to preserve the prosperity of human lives and planet Earth.

[StaceyKoprince]

Hi, thanks for posting your essays! Just an FYI that instructors don't respond to posted essays - we just have too much to do with all of the question posted and essays tend to be the thing that is least "transferable" (that is, you can learn a lot, but probably other people won't learn as much from looking at our responses to your essays, unlike the multiple choice questions).

But I certainly hope other community members respond. Also, if you're in our class, you'll have an opportunity to get essays graded and get written feedback during the course (after class 6).

[gandalf]

boss,
you are writing way too less. To get > 5.0, you need to have more content.