AWA CAT 1

[ninadp730]

Hi.
Please review my answer and give a feedback.
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ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a newspaper editorial during the holiday shopping season:
"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

RESPONSE:

Author of this editorial writes about why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries.According to Author, the reason is the time that Americans spend buying and consuming non-essential goods.

Further,Author states the evidence that on an average, Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. Author concludes that due to spending time in non-productive things, America is losing its competitive edge.Author provide solution to the problem. According to Author, if this time is spend on personal and communal development then the trend of america losing its competitive edge to other countries can be changed.

Author makes several assumptions.First, author assumes that spending time on shopping is main cause of losing competitive edge. A report or an analysis which shows that education system of America contains some major flaws that would lead to losing its competitiveness will weaken this argument.

Secondly, Author assumes that the people from countries to which America is losing its competitiveness do not spend their leisure time shopping. There might be a case where people of a country might be spending more time in shopping than what Americans are spending and yet that country is better than America in term of its competitiveness. Such a case would further weaken the argument of Author.

The solution proposed by other to counteract the current trend is pretty convincing. Spending time on personal and communal development (for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities) would certainly improve the competitiveness. Having said that, to strengthen this argument, author needs to provide enough evidence that shows that currently Americans are not spending time on such things. There might be the case that the time Americans are spending on such things is greater than the time spent by people of other countries to whom America lost its competitiveness. In such case, the argument will further weaken.

On the other hand, if it is found that the people of countries to whom America have lost its competitiveness are spending more of their time to such personal and communal development program then this argument will get strengthen.Also, if it is found that the people of such countries do not spend their leisure time shopping and consuming non-essential goods then the argument of author regarding time spend on shopping by Americans will get strengthen.

The argument of spending less time on shopping non-essential goods and more on personal and communal development is pretty good. But, in order to fully convince the reader, author needs to provide more evidences about connection between time spending and competitiveness, and the current amount of time spent of personal and communal development stuff.

[JasonC279]

I really like your work, it is an example of a good essay really. I wish I could write good essays too.. When I have to do it I always use the help of a research paper writing service for some proofreading and advanced check. Maybe you can give me some tips on writing which will help me?