analysis of an argument sample essays

[prashant.misra11]

analysis of argument second topic.please anyone do suggest me and have a look at my both the essays
The following appeared in a trade publication for the insurance industry:

"Each generation of Americans has lived longer that the ones preceding it, as the national life expectancy has approached 80 years old in recent years. The progress of medical technology shows no sign of abating. Therefore, we can confidently predict that most children born in America in the next decade will live past the age of ninety."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The argument above states that most children born in america in the next decade will live past the age of ninety omits some important concerns that must be addressed to substantiate the argument and therefore fails to be persuasive.
first, the argument assumes an analogy by comparing situation in the past to the present.The argument assumes that since the age of americans living longer increased in the past hence it is sure to increase in the future and they would have a life expectancy greater than their ancestors.The argument ignores the fact the generation of americans have lived longer and they are applying this particular fact to a small group of people(i.e.children). The argument does not cite any specific cause to prove his point that why there has been a rise in expectancy of americans.The argument shows that the only possible cause for rise in life expectancy may be due to rapid advancement in medical technology.There might be some other alternative causes for increase in life expectancy.for instance the number of infant deaths in america might have sharpened but the number of elderly deaths might have declined leading to rise in life expectancy.
second, the argument fails to address any statistical evidence to prove his stance by showing that there has been increase in the number of people living longer.the argument fails to provide any facts or figures to show whether there has been an increase in the age of people who live longer.
Because, the argument ignores out several key issues it fails to be logically convincing.The evidence in support of the conclusion does little to prove the conclusion that most children will live past the age of ninety because it ignores the assumptions already raised above. The argument would have been strengthened if it included the reasons responsible for a rise in life expectancy,showed proper facts and figures mentioning that there has been an increase in the number of people living longer

[StaceyKoprince]

Hi, thanks for posting your essays! Just an FYI that instructors don't grade or give feedback on essays (see the forum guidelines for details).

But I certainly hope other community members respond. Also, if you're in our class, you'll have an opportunity to get essays graded and get written feedback during the course (after class 6). Finally, you can get essays graded by GMAT Write (the official essay grading service from the makers of the exam) - they'll both grade the essays and provide feedback as to how to improve (for a fee). For details and pricing, go to www.mba.com and search for GMAT Write.

[aerosoulmary]

Hi,

Your essay seems good to me, but I am a student like you preparing for GMAT. I have written my response on the same topic. May be it will help, it took me more than 30 minutes though.


The author in the argument makes an assertion that most children born in America in the next decade will live past the age of ninety than those preceding them. The conclusion is based on the premise, having no valid evidence.

First, it is hard to predict whether next generation will live longer than the ones preceding it despite of medical achievements in all sectors. As the centuries have passed, humans are being diagnosed with several diseases that are new to the list and so are the increase in mortality rate which the author fails to consider before concluding.

Second, author clearly states the word "average" while discussing life expectancy rate, average is a wide mathematical term which can incorrectly project the picture of actual figures. Thus, concrete data, including not only life expectancy rate but also life mortality of infant, would help to sought out any general assumptions made in the argument. It may be plausible that it may be plausible that the life mortality rate of infants has increased over the period of time and if this is true, it will affect the conclusion greatly.


Finally, life expectancy rate may have increased due to tremendous developments in medical technology but not to forget that nature also plays vital role in keeping us healthy which seems to contradict developments in medical sector. As we have seen major calamities happening in near past, it is senseless to avoid considering them while calculating life expectancy figures. Furthermore, the rise in toxic chemicals present in air can be hazardous to health. Thus, predicting future merely on impetuous generalization would lead to inaccurate conclusion.


In conclusion, in order to fill gaps in the argument, above mentioned assumptions would help. Life mortality rate due to undiagnosed diseases, infants mortality rate and unforeseeable hazardous changes in nature can not be ignored while concluding life expectancy rate of children in the next decade.

[thanghnvn]

I am going to retake gmat and now repracticing writing. I am non native and do this essay is 30 minutes.


"Each generation of Americans has lived longer that the ones preceding it, as the national life expectancy has approached 80 years old in recent years. The progress of medical technology shows no sign of abating. Therefore, we can confidently predict that most children born in America in the next decade will live past the age of ninety.

-----
the argument concludes that the children will live past the age of 90. To support this argument the author cites the evidence that the progress of medical technology shows no sign of abating. The author also cited the evidence that each generation of Americans has lived longer than the ones preceding it. I see that the argument is flawed because it assumes many important points without which the argument falls apart.

The argument assumes that the cause of the increase in life expectancy is the medical technology progress. This assumption is not certain. It is possible that the cause of the increase is not that technology progress. It is possible that another thing causes the increase in the life expectancy. It is possible that better eating habit causes the increase and the argument falls apart. In my country the increase in life expectancy is caused by better eating habit. Many persons eat more vegetable and less meat. This habit increases the life expectancy. This case can happen in American. The argument would be more sound if it presents the evidence which proves that medical technology progress increases the life expectancy in American.

It is not over. The argument also assumes that the future situation is similar to the past situation. Even if that technology progress causes the increase in life expectancy, the future situation is not similar to the past one and the future children can not get to 90 years of age. Some situation is correct in the past but is not correct in the future. This phenomenon is normal. I give you an example. In the past if you selle meat, you can sell a lot. But now if you sell meat, you can not sell a lot. The argument would be more convincing if it shows evidence which proves that the future situation is similar to the past situation. This means that the technology progress continues to cause the increase in the life expectancy in the future. The evidence can be a study or statistics which convince us that the causal relationship can continue.

In conclusion, I say that the argument is not sound because it assumes many important points. If these assumptions are not true, the argument can not be true. If the argument provides more statistics or evidence showing that the assumptions are correct, the argument will be more sound.
---
I make above writing in 25 minutes and have only 5 minutes left for editing and reviewing. I have not enough time to find out and write about the 3 rd assumptions.

pls comment of method/writing. I am non native and try to use simple words to convey rich ideas. I can not use long sentences and hard vocabulary. pls comment.